At first they're polite and use the front door. They even knock. You invite them in and they sit down on your sofa. You offer them some coffee or tea, and you guys have a nice little chit-chat catch-up time. When your visit is over, you show them the door and they leave on cue.
Then they start to just walk straight in, uninvited. You're standing in the kitchen chopping vegetables when they just walk in and start talking your ear off. How rude of them? But you keep your opinions to yourself and politely shoo them out.
Just when you think they're gone, they resort to a slightly more deceptive way to enter. You walk up the stairs to get your reading glasses, and guess who's crawling in through an open window you forgot to close? Once again, you kick them out and go on to secure all openings; locking yourself in your own mind.
Next they hitch a ride with another thought. You open a door for a pleasant thought about that book you just read, and all of a sudden, there they are again. Yet another time you have to chase them away, hitting them over the head with a broom, yelling at them to leave you alone.
By now they are downright criminals. They lay in wait, sneaky little things they've become. When you step out the door for two seconds, just to grab the paper quickly, they attack you. Right when you're least expecting it. And you once again start doubting, and wondering, and worrying.
"What if I had waited?"
"Maybe if I hadn't said that..."
"What if they weren't so far away, then maybe..."
I wrote that almost a year ago. June 9th 2009 (this is why it's important to put dates on things =]). I was looking through my notebooks today and found 'Thumbin' A Ride'. At that point in my life, I was feeling pretty doubtful (if you couldn't tell). As I read my story today, I thought of a quote from a book I just finished.
The book I just finished is called The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. You might have heard of it. (If you haven't read it, I would encourage you to read it. Actually, I would bug you about it until you did read it. But that's beside the point.) Anyway, the quote that came to mind was said by Betsie Ten Boom. Betsie says 'There are no 'if's in God's world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety-- Oh, let us pray that we may always know it!'
I had a minor epiphany today. There are no 'if's in God's world, and when I focus on what could have been, instead of what is, I'm being doubtful. God leaves nothing to doubt, and those 'What if's and 'Maybe's that are thumbing rides into my mind, those are Satan's little viruses. Satan programs those viruses to spread doubt through my entire body, until I'm not sure about anything anymore, including God's love.
If I focus on living completely in God's if-less world (diving all the way into His swimming pool), would it be harder for Satan's bugs to get at me? It seems like God would have a pretty effective bug spray for me to use. I think I'll try it.
Lord, help me remember that there are no 'if's in your world. Let me be secure in all I say and do. Strengthen me against Satan's viruses, and help me get rid of those bugs when they do succeed at getting inside my head.
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